I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
