fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
