U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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