He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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