I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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