matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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