Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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