the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch