THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
