I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
