Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
nutella sex= disaster
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
