you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
