I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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