All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
