Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize