Sry I called you an 8
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
