so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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