Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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