I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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