Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
