Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
