at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
