would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
