She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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