Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
