I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
