my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
