Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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