I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Life is so much better after having sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
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We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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