There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
