There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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