toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
is it fun? or sober?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
