Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
