I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
