Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
