these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
