i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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