If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
