worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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