And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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