I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
