haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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