Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
