Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize