If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
