She's JV to your varsity
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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