Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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