So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Even my vagina gasped.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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