i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize