I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
