No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
