I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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