i think my tv is drunk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
