Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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