She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
