the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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