I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
